Deep into the hours of last night, I found myself within a conversation among a trio concerning dating relationships. Giddy feelings were expressed, yet such I chose not to share for I am the sole one who has no love on the horizon. Unbeknown to those present, hours earlier I was again denied passage in pursuit of love. There was discussion of "who should be hooked up with Bill" yet in my heart I know this will not be the case. I look around and see none for me. The bridges I have built have been tried. Seemingly enough throughout life, I have been designed to rely upon myself in this lone walk apart from love.

What has comprised my life within the realm of relationships? Flings. Moments with one, time with another... nothing of longevity. Quick burnouts. I was once happily involved in a long-term relationship (about 3 years) but even that was a long-distanced one which limited the time that the two of us could spend time together. I feel as though I do not know of the joys of the day-to-day interaction of relationships. I have observed plenty, but I know I will approach this arena more effectively with different methodologies than others.

I do not understand why there are those that can become "attached to another" so easily. They jump around in relationships from one to the next with ease, yet during that segment of time, try as I may, I cannot form a bond that lasts. Is it a matter of standards? A matter of insecurity? A matter of ill timing? I do not know. I do know that I desire someone like myself- among many things, someone who analyzes this game we play and is no closer to solving the problem than I am.