It is definitely a gray day. Though it's May 21st, the weather outside looks very like a Memphis November, a bit of a chill in the air, with an unfriendly breeze and skies of gray. My spirit is a bit down, despite my move in two days– actually I'm hoping the move will hurl my spirit high.

I find myself frustrated and the frustration is influencing me to make bad choices. It began a few days ago when someone, with whom I felt a mild interest towards, turned me down. I'm beginning to believe that if I ever date again, it'll be someone I don't know now. Last week, U of M's rec center was closed for maintenance which blew my routine off its tracks thereby disabling the strides I was making toward personal fitness. I am taking a pummeling on my credit cards due to the associated costs of moving. I was $400 away from being debt free and seeing the light and now it appears I being flung back into the dark depths again. I need to sit down and do a damage analyst and see what impending hits remain. These three theaters have really added to the gray I see out the windows at work.

I'm finding myself missing Lisa a good bit and though I would love to contact her, but, as noted in an earlier blog, I swore to her that I would not do so. She can reach out to me if she needs me. It's a little rough and actually the past few weekends I've been working on a poem about it, though I find the words difficult to pen.

There are some days in which I would really love to run off down I-40 towards West Virginia. I keep catching myself looking longingly toward the northeastern horizon. Love is a funny thing, and its not the stuff of storybooks– not for me anyway.