Things are seemingly settled in place at my apartment. A set of ice trays along with a tray for silverware continue to be sought-after commodities, but they have not been heavily sought after. I still need to buy a quality art table for my empty, yet warmly-titled "matrix room".

The pursuit of continuing my affairs within academia continued today as my "ENGL 3604 Persuasive Writing" was initiated. The class seems to be in the position to assist in augmenting the frontiers of my thoughts.

But do I find myself here at 11:21 to merely update the faceless fans of WOB's blog? No, I suppose not, not at this hour anyway. The sparsely-populated English class of roughly ten participants contained one individual who immediately hit me with her resemblance to Lisa: geeky, but geeky in such an adorable way which is a good thing for a geek like myself. As I try to pull away and start this life without Lisa, I find the song in which I had sung for her in my head:

Every place I go, I'll think of you
Every song I sing, I'll sing for you
When I come back, I'll wear your wedding ring.
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go.
I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go.

I doubt that most understand. I really doubt they do. I suppose these nights with the soft tunes of Peter Cetera's "After All" and Lionel Richie's "Hello" put me into a somber, lone mood.

When did she and I break up? Over 2 1/2 years ago. Why does my heart yearn so? She's COMPLETELY out of my life; I only have the northeastern night sky to look out upon in my disheartened yearning. Everyday, I find a certain, missing aspect of me, certain incompleteness, without her. Anymore, I guess it's the only state I understand and I would be lost if I found another who could ever match was Lisa was for me.

I guess the good thing about becoming 30 one day is that these feelings should be gone by then, right? I dunno. Times like tonight I feel as one who will forever exist in solitude. There are couples all about me, yet it as if my role is to be "one". Granted, if my career objectives included becoming a monk, then that would be all fine and dandy, but... I'm no monk.

Sometimes I envision this fate of mine as punishment for sins of ago, or the "sin" of letting her go. Oh, no doubt the reader will find such self-mutilating discussion to be that of "crazy-talk" and perhaps I puff my chest out too far thinking that events revolve around my existence. Yet, I feel that for every event, there is purpose behind that event and the effects of that purpose are that of intent and "most-likely-calculated-but not-necessarily-directly-intended". The debate isn't really necessarily the existence of a "causal-powered purpose" but rather "if" there is an intelligence tugging the strings, prolonging the madness of the puppets. But, this is the talk of companions over coffee in a dimly lit studio and I have but a Diet Pepsi.

Last weekend proved to be a nice escape from the rigors of the workplace. I had the opportunity to spend Sunday afternoon with someone who I've have held an interest towards. She has a certain eccentricity, a taste for aesthetics, and a quiet charm that I find attractive. She's an ardent supporter of silent films and we took the opportunity to share one together. Thus far, I have found the silent film era to be quite fascinating for it leaves a lot up to the viewer to interpret. At one point, as she and I were reclining on facing couches, I thought "this feels really natural. I wonder if things worked out for Lisa and I would they be like this?" The reader may very well ask why do not I pursue this new lady? She has expressed interest in preserving our friendship and in a matter of 5-6 weeks will be on an extended stay in Germany.

The night draws to a late hour and work shall soon require my participation. Goodnight.