In this phase of my life, I find that I will sway between two choices. As I begin a new fast, its start has been tainted by vacillation as well. I want to finally make a choice and move away from it, which is satisfying for your friendly neighborhood INTJ'er.

Site Design

I have been bouncing between a dynamic website (WordPress engine) vs. an old school static site. Choosing one or the other would make a great direction—in essence, they wind up becoming the same entity, namely, basically a static experience for the user as it relates to cached content. A PHP/MYSQL site gives me more options as it relates to pulling in dynamic content and ease of update, but the engine and code is such an awkward beast to manhandle. If I can remember to close my tags, a simple HTML/CSS alone site is clean, blazingly fast, and readily understood. Either approach is fine; I just need to choose the better for this seesaw, for this endless ride prevents me from actual content creation.

Since I have limited Internet access and I am uninterested in running a local LAMP server in a test environment in parallel, I want to make this site simple while retaining the strength of the content. Winner: HTML/CSS static

Site Approach

The reason I develop this website oscillates as well. Sometimes, I prefer to make this place a useful tool for visitors; other times, I want just a simple place for self-expression. Ultimately, as there are plenty of DIY and encyclopedic websites that I do not have the time to outpace. As I cannot develop an expert position on everything I would like to delve into (or the audience thereof), it just makes more sense to make this site more of a narrative of things that I find useful and share my own take on life, whatever value that can possibly be mined from it. Winner: personal, general

Weightloss Schema

I have been indecisive as to how I want to approach weightloss. I considered vegan, Atkins, and fasting approaches. While I cannot speak to Atkins, I have lost substantial weight in the other two disciplines, but as I move among all three (while pouring in the occasional addict binge), I cannot find success, anymore than a NFL team cannot function effectively if they continuously bring in coordinators with new systems. Winner: fasting for initial thrust

Conclusion

Clearly, a failure to remain steadfast has spread though many of my pursuits. I specifically do not know the cause of this behavior. I tend to lean to the duality we find in Scripture, that everpresent tension found in the elect with respect to our sin nature—how can we choose to sin when we have been chosen by God?

But, I am not alone in this apparent indecision, though it may be wrong to be considered as such. Look at all the New Year resolutions that are created and seriously followed for a good two weeks of the year. They launch from the docks with great fanfare, yet soon lose their momentum and are listless in the sea before forgotten in a plunge to the depths.

I realize that when I fail and pull myself up off that bloody canvas, I do not have to create and apply an entire new system; I need to persevere through and trust the plan. Sometimes when we think there is greener grass, we our tenacity toward success will fail.