Though I've had a strong desire to return to what has worked so well, I've been distracted and/or just zapped. What had worked really well was a markedly different shift of course, the 3 hours a day workouts, the vegan diet and all the copious amounts of spinach that goes into that!

How did this happen? I was so headstrong! It's easy to blame anything really—circumstances, etc., but at the end of the day, I did it...or, I did the lack of it...err...I didn't do anything...err...I DID "didn't do anything."

Ok, more pragmatically, I lost my vision. For weeks, I was fueled by what I would be doing in the fall season. However, when I adopted a long view of life, the blazing fire of my short term perspective died down to mere embers.

To a degree to which it might contribute, I am affected by the lack of community. Sure, I use the boon of a Facebook return for some motivation, though I wonder if is merely a mirage. A shadow of their former crowd, the analog, offline people from the past are now conveniently digitized and categorized into the cloud. I don't like that and I don't like that done to me. Is it a symptom of this information age, or is this just life in this demographic expanse? It's not like past friends are hanging out at the coffeehouse or at a LAN party; they are just like me, juggling responsibilities and kids then injecting the nightly anesthetization of entertainment.

Of course, I don't even know HOW to approach friendships in this expanse. You see, I value the individual. I see the construct of friendship as a relational 1-to-1 vehicle. But in practice, is this true? There tends to be this dragging into a friendship a whole, cluttered, hanging mobile with spheres of influence swapped in for the orbits of Venus and Mars—far more messier and involved than I'd prefer and more akin to a marriage where one is saddled with in-laws. C'mon, man, I'm a straight-up Allman Brothers' Ramblin' Man!

And perhaps my frustration is part of what I choose to do. I have the unique opportunity of being a stay-at-home dad whom homeschools his kids. There's a myriad of reasons why in this context trading earning potential and societal position to teach my kids is the superior choice over a government education—and I get to use my MA in English! However, the culture of the American South has its own challenges and perceptions: I've never felt the luxury to hang out with the moms at the park or do whatever they do on play dates—there's gotta be a Madden tournament play date out there somewhere! Now in theory, my gender shouldn't matter, as the focus should be on the ability and willingness to teach, but in practice, it comes off a bit like house arrest—not like this either:

Yet, I recognize that this is the season I find myself. And for now, this season is...

WEIGHTLOSS through veganism and being AWESOME.

And as I'm Born to Run, look for my running race schedule for 2019...