I received this email advertisement: "Lose 3 times more weight than dieting on your own with Jenny Craig's scientifically proven program."

Uhh, yeah. The only way I could have lost 129 lbs in the last six weeks is with a chainsaw. And then you could give me a cute nickname like "Stumpy." I dunno, my diet is pretty straightforward. Its basic premise is eat the lowest calorie count while getting all the nutrition including amino acids, in an overall vehicle that is sustainable to eat that also includes an acceptable price point. shrug It's not that hard. It's just easier to eat whole foods than an amalgamation from a laboratory.

But, oh sweet, blessed Twinkie! Is it not the pinnacle of 20th century food engineering? I mean, Pop Rocks had all the sizzle and freeze-dried ice cream had all the wonder, but, the Twinkie? That has all the daily go-to and wholesomeness of the modern day apple pie. Clearly, I totally get Woody Harrison's character in Zombieland and his post-apocalyptic, snack cake search.

Before you think I'm a sweet tooth guy or that I'm in some sort of dietary danger, fear not, friend! Remember, I resist Lord Salt. Sugar, meh, I could be tossed on a deserted island with no deserts for the rest of my life. But, despite my current vegan approach, tossing a case of beef jerky in my direction is the dietary equivalent of a hand grenade.

Quick sidebar: Some folks have pernicious grammar tweaks—like holding fast to a resistance against the Oxford comma. I don't have many pet peeves, but the one I do have is using the verb quote when the noun quotation is intended. But, that has been an Internet issue as long as I can remember.

Fortunately, after a various Rubik's Cube-like permutations through 2018, my diet is rock solid. Whether it is in its specifics or in its implementation, I don't know, but, I have no appetite issues or any cravings, which is significant as my last meal of the day is before 2:30 PM. It is unnecessary for me to do a single minute of cardio to lose substantial weight in The 5th Expedition. But, don't tell that to my treadmill and elliptical as I spent a combined 140 minutes on them yesterday morning on a down day with a crick in my neck.