I've got 3 days before my first event comes, The 500th Night Diet 5K, the race that celebrates my diet streak of 500 days. I suppose it's just a tad presumptuous to already have the T-shirt ready to go, though old cravings of Behemoth Bill have fallen off me like the molting off a snake.

That said, weirdly enough, I had a dream last night where as a cast member of Impractical Jokers, I drank Pepsi AND shaved my beard off—somebody ate my Twinkie in front of me in a public restroom, too! You can imagine my relief when I bolted up in bed! The Pepsi thing is weird since I'm a Coke guy, until I realized my recent Crystal Pepsi consideration for a design. Of course, Crystal Pepsi was that odd beverage reaching it's zenith with Van Halen's Right Now Super Bowl commercial in 1993, an ad that I specifically remember watching on TV in my 9th grade English class, likely adjacent to that girl with a Michael Bolton Time, Love and Tenderness obsession. <Insert Office Space commentary here>

Yes, you cannot take an overview of a 500-day diet streak without going down a rabbit hole or two! And yes, while I already weigh less than I did in 8th grade (and I was 5'6), I'm gunning for 9th grade's 170 at my current height of 5'9. Further still, FOR YEARS, I've been wanting to hit that mark I had my senior year at 163. In 7 days, I'll be weighing in to see how The 24th Expedition fared—I predict I'll be in the low 180s.

Ideally, I want to hit my weight goal in 64 days when 2022 arrives, though that might be unrealistic. How awesome would it move on to the next phase of training and wrap it up into a New Year's Resolution?

Ultimately, it's out of my hands: I'm just a carnivore and let my body's hormones choose my composition. It amuses me that at 43, I'm now in better shape than I was in most of my 20s and 30s.

This scene from 1994 has never been loss on me:

YouTube Link