I'll tell you what! You cross the river and head over to NE Arkansas with $10 in your pocket and you'll get a slap on the back and a new buddy. But, the next time you pull out your billfold, it's gonna be a three-dollar bill.

After my wheelin-and-dealin' "buyer's agent" and her mortgage kemosabe shenanigans' dust settled that left my head a spinnin', we put in an offer on the house. We received a counteroffer, which we knew was coming down the line EVEN before the agent sat down with the seller 'cause the mortgage folks let it slip. I had half a mind to ask for:

1. $1000 more than their limited offer for closing (again, a number I pre-knew);
2. the washer/dryer (which was already denied over the phone by the seller);
3. the fridge;
4. AND a pecan pie.

I'm not making that up—and I'm a CARNIVORE! (Note: my psychology of the pecan pie was to add levity to the situation, thereby greasing the wheels while also underscoring that we wouldn't budge.)

Ultimately, we just pulled the ripcord; we're out. I was spooked. The sellers lost out on a full-price offer on a listing that's been on the market for 100+ days; they lost it over $3,000! That would have just come off that top for 'em! And they were gonna sell at $25,000 LESS a month ago before the buyer's backed out!

I would have shared a slice of that pie with them. But, that's Tennessee.