Shea

I have a "new" guitar. She is Shea.

My reflection, dirty mirror
There's no connection to myself
...
Throw out your cares and fly
Wanna go for a ride
(Shea's) the one for me
(Shea's) all I really need, oh yeah

-Smashing Pumpkins, Zero

Admittedly, I always thought that lyric was Shea and not just a nasal she. But, that's not the point. Since Fall 2000 and my on-again / off-again relationships with guitars—a total of nine or ten—until now, they have all been without a name. For $20 at a yard sale, Shea's a 2015 Ibanez entry-level guitar with a white, perhaps pearl, solid body. Now the guitar bag smells like a chick, a scent that immediately reminded me of high school and hence 1995's Zero.

I don't have an amp—I don't rush into any kind of commitment with her. As it has been said, "I always take a relationship to the next level. If that works out, I take it to the next level after that, until I finally reach that level when it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave."

The Thirty-Fourth Expedition

I recently wrote of my desire to abandon the Expeditions; I also wrote to reinstate them. In the short term, if a year can be considered short, the Expeditions prove to be a successful weightloss vehicle to drive toward a specific date—for a beach trip, a wedding, etc.

The Expeditions' focus is on weightloss with values that mean absolutely nothing to anyone but me. No one cares about the weigh-ins. Even as a unit of measure, no one really understands the value of a lb of weightloss—well, other than folks at 5'9 ¾. Again, obviously, there's not a number that floats above our heads that lets everyone know where we are on the scale. But we sure live lives that look that way!

Then again, as Faith Hill sings

When I don't know what to say
Don't know what to do
Don't know if it really even matters to you
How can I make you see
It matters to me

So, it does matter, even if it is just to me. Come to think about it, that's about as relevant as a thing to be. See this website title for more information.

But what about a state of being? I'm disinterested in doing, but being interests me. Doing can be so flippant: I do one thing, I turn around and do something else. In time, our behavior in this being approach will bear fruit. Being is a correlated state that is consistent.

"Yes, this is all well and good Bill, but what of it?"

I want both paths. I want the win now results of the Expeditions, because the doing provides an outcome that boots me toward self-actualization of the being.

This past weekend I was weakened. Yardwork sidelined me as I felt I needed a quick infusion of sugar. Well, that version of me that was lying on the floor from the 110℉ heat index with a midday wrastling with a belligerent string trimmer. With no purpose, the merit of "it's just a good idea" did not inspire me on to victory the following day.

I need an overarching idea. When I've got to dig deep, I've got to have something to push toward. When trying to be something, along the way, there are certain milestones to hit—things to do. The brilliance of the Expeditions is in that specific function. Instead of a goal of an N number weightloss or even a generalized fitness identity, they are a percentage loss in competition with each other. Even though I cannot directly control weightloss, I recognized that certain meals correlate to success. By extension and two hops away from weightloss, workouts correlated to me eating certain meals. And when I could tie a musical theme into an Expedition, it correlated more. Success for me:

Music -> Workouts -> High-Fat Carnivore -> Body Optimization

It is all about correlation. In the same neighborhood is consistent behavior. When someone is Batman, what behavior would you expect? Is it the same as Ironman?