I'm gonna set fire to this city
And out into the desert
We're gonna ride

-Counting Crows, Time and Time Again (1993)

I once was jacked. Today, I straight-legged deadlifted off the ground a 55 lb dumbbell in each hand. I stomped with thunder with each step...my knees felt unsure...was that a tremble in my quads? I waddled through the house when a thought hit me: "Yes, this is all sorts of pressure on my feet—110 lbs of added weight—but, I'd have to stack another 35 lbs onto it to reach what I once weighed!" No, I don't particularly remember being THAT bogged down by...ME!

So once upon a time, clearly, I was buff! That fried apple pie, Taco Bell taco party box, Pizza Hut supreme pizza, and cookies n' cream Blue Bell ice cream diet made me strong like bull!

It is time for me to get back into my training: lifting weights, amassing those daily steps, and slicing those kicks. There remains a lightly rippling numbness in my hands and legs—the halo of existence; there is merely shimmering in my abs. There's no reason for me to wait any longer. Like my astigmatism that demands glasses when I read a typical book, when life modifies capabilities, I just make like REO Speedwagon and Roll with the Changes (1978).

I just wish I could have kept that strength from New Year's Eve 2017! But, oh the stories along the way...

2018... 2019... 2020...

2021... 2022... 2023...

Each year was Cake's The Distance (1996):

Because he's racing and pacing and plotting the course.
He's fighting and biting and riding on his horse.
He's going the distance.

No trophy, no flowers, no flashbulbs, no wine
He's haunted by something he cannot define
Bowel-shaking earthquakes of doubt and remorse
Assail him, impale him with monster truck force
In his mind, he's still driving, still making the grade

Falling back.

Pushing forward.

Until 2024. It is an upswelling from the accumulation of years of failing forward.

And truth be told, I was only ever interested in increasing capabilities, not capacities. Agility is king and something that doesn't come to one who is a walking dumbbell rack!

I ran across a new idea—well, something I envied for a good long while, but figured it was out of reach: primal / Asian squatting. I will pick up this skillset before the end of this year.