...I swear I'll never give in
I refuse

Foo Fighters

It's another day. The peripheral neuropathy continues another day, with its tingling, numbness, "heat intolerance," and "feeling as if (I'm) wearing gloves or socks when (I'm) not." When I put on my sandals, my right little toe feels like I'm slapping a 6th toe on top of it. Dunno if phantom toe is a symptom! It's unsettling.

However, my ab numbness is nowhere near how bad it once was!

I suspect my autonomic nerves are affected as well—BAH, these endless heart palpitations! If this ChatGPT subscription is worth its meddle, it sounds like I've got a touch of postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome: "When people with POTS stand up, their heart rate can increase significantly (by 30 beats per minute or more within 10 minutes." Mine went from 81 to 100 in 10 SECONDS of standup.

There's no cure for that either! It makes me laugh: treatment options include things to raise blood pressure and eat salt. So do ya still think a diet HIGH in saturated fats causes high blood pressure?

I guess that explains why the yard has been whippin' my tail all over the place!

This zombie bite has got all my internals going haywire. Inflammation is the culprit to my poor success on the scale for 39E. My macro averages were right on point; I've consistently lost double figures on it. But, my body is too busy working on stuff to drop weight. That said, while I lost 2 lbs in six weeks, I can say in the last five days, I dropped 1 lb.

So no cure, other than do what my body always does: write up a helpdesk ticket and send a tech to fix things. Even if there was something doctors could do, I wouldn't green-light them. My parents both had a TON of medical know-it-alls; my folks died a bit lighter in the wallet at ages 66 and 64.

And all apologies to Shania and (If You're Not in It for Love) I'm Outta Here:

Mind if I sit down?
Can I ask about my state?
Haven't seen your face around,
Are you new or running late?
It's the same old line,
Oh, every time,
You prescribe pills that misalign,
But I know it's not my body's design.

If you're not
In it to heal
If you're not
Changing what we eat
If you're not in it for care
If you're not in it to heal
Let me make it clear
To you, my dear
[Handclaps]
If that's the best you can do,
I'm outta here!

ChatGPT & Me

The post I wrote earlier for today was on the tail end of last night. It actually was one LONG post with the day prior. Thus, this time-sensitive one is being written around midday today (and 4 hours later...).

I have made some U-turns!

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

1. No Sardines. The 40th Expedition sardine focus has ended. I can do it, but it takes WAY too much willpower to maintain. Into the 4th day, I gladly tap out and will embrace beef with open arms tomorrow. This decision was influenced by today's yardwork as I walked past death's threshold. Nothing says you shouldn't have a belly full of sardines like standing in the sun wearing black head-to-toe. Being exhausted and dragging yourself indoors in that state THEN burping up sardine acid, well, that's gotta be a low point! Well, that and getting stung by a hornet in the back of your shaved head.
   
   Something I scowled toward: as I pushed that stupid, non-powered self-propelled drive chain through thick, wet grass is that my fitness blows monkey chunks. And while I tried to save battery usage, those suckers dried up before I finished the front yard. So, I outlasted the tech?
   
   While it was hours ago, I remain saddled with something shaky in my chest. Not a 1st place trophy day! Quick thought: I regret throwing out those old Taekwondo trophies from the 90s. "I close my eyes and slip away."

2. "Whoa Oh Whoa Listen to the Music." Spotify and music references are back: I tried to go without, but I sorely missed it in today's yardwork.

3. Coffee. Yes, my body is dependent on the stuff. Cutting it in half one day and then going cold turkey the next is totally Marilyn Manson and the Sneaker Pimps' Long Hard Road Out of Hell (1997) And while my stress levels for the past 3 days were in the 30s, one time I looked down at my watch and it was reminiscent to those earlier days with the zombie bite; that sucker was up to 98!
   
   And hey, Dr. Berry gives the thumbs-up: Is COFFEE bad for you? The (Truth about Coffee).

4. Props to Tim McGraw, thumbs down to the Beatles. I need to get myself out there on venues like Facebook. You can't be a friend a friend would like to have by hiding your love away. Plus, how am I gonna invite folks to the gun show if nobody's in attendance?

What Now?

Ok, so we've got beef back on board, music, coffee, and a New Year's Eve connection: what are we gonna roll on?

DnD

I'm bringing back my Dungeons & Dragons character sheet for daily workouts. OK, so I don't have it; it was something I built in Google Sheets. But, I'll whip something together in LibeWriter or LibreCalc. Hey, why not my 2005-2006 goto, Scribus?

I didn't realize how chockful of content my morning training once was! Dexterity (agility), strength, and stamina! I never did complete the sheet with the other three, charisma, intelligence, and wisdom.

And while I attempted to create a training regimen of just three exercises, bench press, Arnold press, and dumbbell rows, it was a mistake. It's more engaging to have Back, Chest, Legs/Core, Shoulders, and Arms days.

While I love my 10,944 target, I want a weekly step up to my steps. Kelly Hogan's daily target is 30,000, a plane I have walked a few times, but not something I can maintain. To hit that kind of target, you gotta be moving all day.

Taekwondo

Yes, once upon a time I was a quasi- black belt, a First Degree Recommended Black Belt. Yeah, in practice I sparred against 1st to 4th degrees. I'd assess my skill level was on par with the 2nd degrees, though my strength never relied on my kicks, but my hand techniques. I really owe that to my training from ages 14-17 as a boxer from my Marine/Pro boxer dad. Of course, at 17, I did wrestling and later TKD, making me a mixed martial artist before that was a thing.

I regret I never did the testing to remove the "Recommended" part of my degree. It's pure vanity, of course. I was very much a black belt, but I never took the time to train again in the earlier patterns to ensure I could do it on cue for the test. I suppose it was 1998 and other things got into my schedule.

I am going to go back and train through the patterns I once did, well, the ITF ones, from Chon-Ji to Kwang-Gae, not the made-up ones that the master of my federation devised.

And I have NO memory of the karate katas I learned from the tutelage of Mr. Mullen, now the Nevada Athletic Commission executive director. But, I only spent a year in karate at ages 18-19 anyway.

And in time, I will move on to first degree, second degree, and so forth. The Internet allows me to do this. There was a time, I had to buy a VHS cassette just to grab the color belt patterns. The black belt patterns were all hush-hush. When I was white, yellow, green, blue, and sometimes red, I used to go in early just to watch the black belts train together, so I could visualize the spirit of their training. I recognized the patterns even if I never wrote the movements down.

I raise the question, "Why integrate this into my training?" Yes, it builds strength and improves agility. For those reasons alone, it's green-lit. But, it's also movement. Practical, primal movement. While lifting weight is a conduit of resistance, it is not realistic to life, unless of course you work at a gym or work as a fitness store stocker. Martial arts is about how to move YOUR body in space with confidence and accuracy. You won't find that at the gym, arms locked along a rubberband trajectory.

Primal

I've referenced it before, but I also want to have a daily "primal" regimen. Maybe it could be viewed as a warmup...or a primal primer!

10 pushups
10 Asian/primal squats
10 planks
10 situps

Just 1 set. Nothing too extravagant. Just something to get me prepped for the day. I don't even know yet how long to hold the squats and planks.

Tech

I want to bring in tools to aid in whirling this machine up. Two things I want to make a return:

1. UFC Fight Pass. Watching UFC fights has been my thing since June 2018.

2. A Google account. "Shazbot! But, you've got your own email? You HATE Google. You use Brave Search!" To better use all of the features of my degoogled phone, like I dunno, GOOGLE PLAY SERVICES, I gotta play with Google. I cannot use my Garmin app on my phone, but have to do updates via USB and do my steps sync manually with a direct connection to WiFi. While I don't see myself using it for email, I was thinking about transitioning to a CloudFlare host later this year and not renewing my email subscription to Tuta to save a few bucks before March 2025.

3. ChatGPT. I am plopping down $20/m for a subscription to ChatGPT. It's proven itself; it's my workbench. While $20 is inflated, I can justify 67 cents a day.

The other day, I threw in some points as to how to address my failure at the scale, that 2 lb drop stall. I was looking to inspire my spirit and I came with action. I soon ran across the sardine implementation which will have a bigger impact.

I am keeping these two:

• Return to Fat Focus Days. It's now on Sundays.
• Bring Back Small Victory Win Conditions. Defining challenges in-progress.

I am hauling these out to the curb:

• Restore This Site to Retrowave. I have it running on my test server and it IS a thing of beauty. It's somewhere between blacklight, a Tequila Sunrise drink, and K.I.T.T. racing across a desert sunset. That said, I don't feel like it's optimized as a theme. I prefer the bare minimum, typography-focus site.
• Maintain a Spotify Subscription. (See below.)
• Join Facebook on New Year's Eve. (See below.)

As to the last points, I fully intended to implement them. I even grabbed 1000+ marching band covers to slowly whittle down to my favorites to my playlist for The 40th. I even wanted to incorporate songs from each Expedition to commemorate everything that has happened before...

...well, until I ran across a question. It's from the class I'm teaching out of Grudem's Systematic Theology. In chapter 12, The Character of God: "Communicable" Attributes (Part 1), among the questions presented at the chapter's end was this:

Are there activities or relationships in your present pattern of life that are hindering your growth in holiness because they make it difficult for you to be separated from sin and devoted to seeking God's honor?

It got me to thinking about a passage of Scripture that also references the Old Testament, 2 Corinthians 6:17-7:1. All my life, I have just heard this to mean don't marry an unbeliever. But these 46-year-old eyes see more in the text. Remember, Jesus' yoke is light; whose yoke am I pulling on with this unbeliever then?

It is a minor thing I suppose, but in this "bringing holiness to completion in the fear of God," I am leaving behind music streaming services. For that matter, I am moving on from this site in the future from being so music-centric with blockquotes, post titles, and music links.

Furthermore, I won't be returning to Facebook. It breaks my heart every time I do. People have been revealed. In a few cases, it is for the better. In most, they're no longer pretending to fear the Lord and flailing around the lingo, but their shifting sands have rolled them down to dreams of being accepted at The Cool Kids' Table.

What I said about TV in November 2003, 21 years ago, I now apply to social media:

Why do I want to watch a depraved lifestyle, all the while the world subtly suggests that this is the way one should live? The utterly sad part is that people DO watch it! You dullards– at least go out and SIN– don't just sit on the sidelines! Since as a non-Christian, you're eternally damned anyway, GO, enjoy the pleasures of the world. Don't just sit back and passively watch it! Take the road to Hell in a blaze of glory! Life is not that of fence sitters. You're on either one side or the other.

Wartime Propaganda, 11/3/03

They need to stop pretending to be Christian. It's straight up Matthew 7:21–23.

I just can't get there—why are they celebrating sin? If they are like me, they fear the Lord. Yes, I have my seasons of life when I really miss the mark. I mean, I trip over my own feet before I throw the dart! And I am not happy in those times. And I certainly DO NOT APPLAUD SIN. The Holy Spirit persuades me to return and continue in my sanctification. I repent and go gratefully for I cannot be snatched out of God's hand.

But this post isn't about fools. It's about the changes I am undertaking to better align with reality and the world to come. Recently as I began to formulate my hopefully-soon-to-be-shared bucket list, I used the question: when am I the most happy? It's not a bad place to start when one wants to dream big and then divide-and-conquer the sequences needed to get from here to there.

Among them, I found studying about God and more importantly, picking up the living and active Bible, the very words of God, brings me joy. I feel what David expresses in Psalm 119. I come to the text and meditate on the words before me, looking deeply into the mirror. It's unlike anything else I have experienced in these past 46 years...it's authentic.

Make it a daily habit; feel that cozy feeling inside.

I want to be transformed by the renewal of my mind. I don't want to think like the world does for they live in such a meaningless existence.

Don't be like them; realize you too, can walk with your own two legs down the hallways of John 14:2-3 like I will—OK, I just might be running like a kid! I don't know much about my room, but I am looking forward to flinging back the curtains for the view! If you make it there, stop by and say hello!