I finished up my third day on this "sardine fast." Oh, the way these folks throw that word around! In practice, the mechanics of it just has me replacing my beef and eggs with sardines. My butter and coffee remain the same because meat alone never has enough fat.

That said, I am cutting my coffee consumption in half and tossing two sticks of butter into it. Just two cups! The only function of coffee in my diet is as a carrier for butter.

But, I suspect I need to eliminate coffee from my diet—I know, I know tried that / failed that. I tend to always pull the cold turkey rip cord; the shoot never opens! I am better at reading my body now; I feel like I'm tuned up a little tight. Although my Garmin tells me my heartbeat is normal and the time between beats is boring, I reach moments in my day when my heart feels like it is beating out of my chest. Yay subjective data!

Thus, after this stein next to me is empty, it'll be the last coffee I'll have. I did not need it in the first 20 years of my life, I will not need it in the last 20 years of my life. As to that 26 middle, eh...yeah, I needed it: the Mug, drives to the east, drives to the west, and all the socialization in the middle.

I want to become the carnivore whom can grab a stick of butter and just go to town on it—I bet I totally could with Kerrygold! But can I with this run-of-the-mill ALDI stuff?

Look what this nutrition website has to say about eating a stick of butter by an author with a degree in Dramatic Writing and interned at MTV and Fallon:

Another problem with eating too much butter (and saturated fats in general) is that they can lead to harmful weight gain and even obesity, which in turn can cause a host of serious health issues.

(insert several stock photos featuring bread but do not reference it)

I'd cite my source, but this is the typical garbage we're inundated and it's simply not true. It's just not...unless I'm some sort of biological freak!

I've currently lost 130 lbs by eating between 45 to 60 sticks of butter per month. When I have stopped eating butter, I have gained weight. I actually don't like butter; I had a huge aversion to it as a kid due to its texture on my fingers. No, my weight gain came from places like fried apple pies, nachos, and ice cream, foods that featured ONE culprit.

The malefactor is carbohydrates sugar in those fruits, vegetables, and seeds—PLANTS. And regarding fiber? Why would I put anything into my mouth that I cannot digest? Think about the next time you're holding a handful of ball bearings. But highlighting that sort of thing doesn't win ya a seat at The Cool Kids' Table.

Thus folks are getting sicker and dying at younger ages than their parents despite a great health consciousness because they eat "healthier" options and not what their forefathers ate. That ol' spinach, with its oxalates and its Just What Plants Do dynamic, is gonna grind the grit out of ya in that upcoming kidney stone.

So, I'm left with one last plant to deal with, Coffea. Con Te Partirò.

(Neal McCoy's Wink was the #1 country song this time 30 years ago in '94. It was preceded by Brooks and Dunn's That Ain't No Way to Go and was followed by Travis Tritt's Foolish Pride. Sometime in that time frame, I owned my first CD-ROM drive, for I specifically remember playing the Travis's album for which that one came off of, Ten Feet Tall and Bulletproof.)

July 8th came and went. On some level, it was an instrumental day. Oh, perhaps it is not like what occurred thirty years ago when I drove by myself for the first time up to the Raleigh Springs Mall and purchased my first pair of cowboy boots for $150.

Then again, perhaps it was...

At any rate, I made it through my sardine approach. And lemme tell ya, I DO NOT like Chicken of the Sea's take on the sardine! It's that whole slurp-up-the-tail aspect that's so offputting...well, and perhaps the slime, too.

Now Walmart's Great Value offering is pretty chunky in size and comes off like tuna. It is better and cheaper! Dust it with a good sprinkling of Redmond's and you've got yourself something. While Chicken of the Sea had me worried about the long haul ahead, I can totally do sardines like Walmart's for the next 41 days. I didn't feel like I finished a lifting set after I went through a can, unlike the three this morning that I completed by sheer force of will.

For more info on why I am doing this, I thought this Dr. Boz video does a decent job, Kickstart Metabolism In 3 Days With Sardines.

Even ol' Dr. Ken Berry from just down the road has a take in #1 Healthy FISH You Should Eat (Low Mercury!) that just makes sense.

After The 40th Expedition, I'll open a weekday or two to sardines.

As I drive by milemarker 46 into 47, I embrace my Wild Bill spirit in my steel stallion of thunder. The 40th Expedition will be dominated by...

...SARDINES! Yep, you read that correctly. Sardines.

I am in the process of applying it, but I am sliding my chips out on the table and going all in:

Mondays - Saturdays

• Breakfast: Sardines (two cans)
• Coffee: Coffee & Butter (2 sticks)
• Lunch: Sardines (two cans)

Fat Focus Sundays

Coffee & Butter (20 tbsp)

Why?

Still reeling from yesterday's weigh-in letdown, I watched another Kelly Hogan video, this time with Annette Bosworth, M.D., Advice Beyond "Go Carnivore" - DETAILS for fat loss. Watch it, you'll be glad you did.

First impression: Dr. Boz was vacationing in Sitka, Alaska, a place where I know a thing or two about its bald eagles! She was wearing thick gloves and a leather jacket, again, a high of 50-60s ℉ feature that I sorely miss in Memphis!

In the video, they made a few arguments toward a 3-day sardine fast. Of course, you know that I possess the capability to go on a 4+26 day water fast, and if it wasn't being greeted by lemongrass tofu on touchdown...

...OK, so I was left out on the curb in a Memphis August afternoon, dreadfully contrasting with a Czech summer. Today's July 8 in Plzeň: 77°/54°; today in Memphis: 92°/ 70°. I probably had no business being tempted by Vietnamese cuisine back then! Oven heat outdoors and fried tofu? C'mon. Even if I hadn't eaten in weeks.

It's funny: I turned 29 in Dublin, Ireland. Then I became 34 in Plzeň.

Ah, I am distracted...my heart is a wellspring of adventure as it was in those older times...

Sardines scare me. I recall watching a 6th-grade classmate eating a can for show-and-tell. Man, that was one weird kid! And my wife can take to 'em like I do toward salted pistachios in the shell!

I am doing it today because it does intimidate me! But, I am doing it more because I no longer view food as a bridge of pleasure, but a bridge to tomorrow.

So, is it all that intimidating? No, I have a pelt on my chest! A solid 2% of my blood is Viking! I am in the 99th percentile for Neanderthal DNA—I got this!

I said to myself:

I can do 3 days. Wait, why just three? I can do more.

If this is the sort of thing that can turn things around, well, I am on Day 1 of the 40th, on the precipice of counting off 46 years on this planet.

Let's take a leap into the dark abyss!

Thus, I made the move. I've got 26 days' worth of sardines packed in water in the cupboards. I REALLY do NOT want olive oil, but ya gotta have fat, so I'm taking the advice of adding fat to it...or at least the same time frame. No reason to prolong the workout!

I made a batch of ghee from my old recipe in Be Beef in a Ghee Gi to Modify Spotify and Cook Facebook, even adding my dance to Get Down Tonight!

Ultimately, I hope this sardine reboot will rid me of all the wonkiness that has plagued me this year. I suspect inflammation is robbing my victories on the scale. I only lost ¼" inch around my waist in The 39th Expedition.

Let's just see what happens come August 18. We're reaching "Simply the Best" territory...