I got past a challenging day, a Fat Focus Wednesday in context to my first day without coffee. This morning was tilapia (3.1 oz) which did not dethrone my love for salmon. I also ate a couple hamburger patties (4.2) followed by a heap of bacon (3.5 oz). Collectively, that puts me at 88 grams of protein for the day, high for that 75 marker, but puts the daily averages at 237.1 / 56.5 / 1 for 12 days in The 38th Expedition.

I know what I'm doing is best for me, but admittedly, this clean break from my daily 40 oz. coffee is challenging! If it was merely cutting out something I look forward to each day, I could manage that. But, to add how my body responds in withdrawal—lethargy, irritability, meaningless—well, it is just fortitude or trust in the process.

Mentally, I know this is all caused from coffee chemicals. There's no rationality to it.

That said, I've been down this road before. As I began to experience back pain, I remembered December and read that 13's The Coffee & 31.

I'm quitting quitting coffee. "Save my life, I'm going down for the last time."

Maybe sometime at goal weight, I'll optimize further, but in this space, why pick up the style points? That said, there is value in going with whole beans instead of those natural and artificial flavors combo. The only lab coat I want in my diet is a butcher's.

I've also cut back from my April Addendum New Year's Resolutions. I'm still off Spotify and Google, but...they missed bringing in the new year. It's awkward to have them as a late add to the party. Plus, the reason I cut down my list in December was to focus on a handful. Honestly, by New Year's 2025, Google won't apply to me. There are more interesting challenges on the horizon.

I did bring back Google Charts on my Fit section. I like its extended functionality—I spent a considerable amount of time to set them up the way I wanted! I may even throw Font Awesome back into the mix if I can get a small, site-use-specific file hosted locally. That half-second render always grinds my gears!

All that aside, I have a deep desire to leave behind tech—well, tech the way the mainstream considers tech, some lousy crutch of existence that relies on 3rd-party apps on dumb-ya-down devices. Tech that "...extends life...expands consciousness...vital to space travel," I'm on board and setting sail with that! I mean, you can already cue up the "a summer's day laughin' and a-hidin', chasin' love out on Thunder Island."

Is today a good day for me?

I have added another log onto the New Year's Resolutions fire: no coffee. It stems back to yesterday's dialogue. I had to face myself and ask why. Coffee is not in the mix for nutrition. There is a rich history and emotional attachments to the stuff from the outset, but as a fuel? Nah. Even its front-end benefits no longer apply: I take it now just to bring me back to default and to avoid what's gonna happen the next 4+ days, withdrawal symptoms. For now, at least an element of that has been cast aside as my two butter drinks (1 stick each) this morning have cast aside the headaches (for now).

Never will I forget: I am alive! Coffee cannot make me that way.

First there was ATARI, then Nintendo, Sega Genesis, Sega Dreamcast, PlayStation 1, PlayStation 2, XBOX, Wii, XBOX 360, PlayStation 3, and PlayStation 4. All unique eras across the timeline of my life, always chasing that next hit of digital dopamine. I never made the leap to the next iteration. I won't. Yep, I am officially retiring from console gaming. My favorite over the years? Gotta be the Nintendo Entertainment System. Plenty of nostalgia. Those were special years. People and places of a bygone era.

This morning around 4 AM, I watched a live session from last night of doctors Ken Berry and Shawn Baker entitled Meat-Only Medicine? I suppose some might consider that a provocative title, but come to think of it, that's EXACTLY what I do in these attempts to eat what my ancestors ate.

Decidedly, I am unlike my 45-year-old peers whom whole-heartedly and tenderly trust in the natural ability of those droplets-turned-cascade of pills from bottles with all the passion of a Rick James Super Freak (although the visualization of the gasoline fight in Zoolander comes to mind).

In the hour+ dialog, there was not much personal application for me as the conversation revolved around the macro, though it did bounce onto the micro from time to time. Then again, what can be said "new" when I have invested 1,051 days of my life into carnivore? I would like to think I do not sprinkle paint chips onto my burgers.

But, one insight did come to me, though they only spoke of it in terms of Lucky Charm cereal and its role as a recreational drug: the role flavored coffee plays in my diet.

Admittedly, I do like how flavored coffee gives me access to tastes that are out-of-reach for FREE. There's the Christmas memories of eggnog, the tempting Neopolitan ice cream et al., oh my! But, those labels on coffee bags are suspicious, aren't they? Something like arabica beans, of course, but then natural and artificial flavors. Well golly, natural and artificial flavors are literally the entire world! "Yes, we sprinkle Prozac and arsenic with just a zest of gasoline into our award-winning breakfast blend!"

It matters to me what I put into my body. For years, it did not. It is the threshold I crossed over into 40 where I have focused on it. When you are young, you are resilient. In my mid-20s, I could order a Papa John's delivery for one, pick up a couple of Smirnoff-flavored six-packs, and use a Friday night sunset to sunrise to play World of Warcraft while watching DVDs from NetFlix. In my mid-40s, that sounds awful!

And my body is better in my 40s than in my 20s. Even as a vegan with a 74-lb weight loss, I looked...hollow. Depleted.

Flavored coffee is not a wrecker or anything. It might hang out in the lab for a bit, but it is not taking a 5-year residency like a Little Debbie does. But what I am doing now is optimization; I'm doing well; how can I do even better? And I do not view it in terms of weightloss for the shift will have no impact. I just want to be a better me.

Perhaps this is the precursor to kicking coffee completely out of my diet, thus removing that psychoactive drug. It is curious, is it not? I switch out meat from one to another with ease—the closest to an addiction is with bacon and I have not had that since April 6. But, coffee—well, caffeine really—I gotta take a hit of that pesticide EVERY day, or I'm gonna pay! It is like making tobacco a featured pillar of my diet.

I suspect coffee consumption is like a Google account to me:

Now being without you
Takes a lot of getting used to
Should learn to live with it
But I don't want to
Being without you
It's all a big mistake
Instead of getting easier
It's the hardest thing to take
I'm addicted to you, babe
You're a hard habit to break

-Chicago, Hard Habit to Break