Yesterday, I thought I had finally kicked the lasting tentacles of this sickness aside. I walked past East Hill, through Ellendale Park, past Hwy 70, and took the BRC track. Emerging onto Haynes Rd, my feet would bring me in front of my childhood home as a wave of despair washed over me. I walked with the words, "I don't want to get old" croaking from my mouth.

Where did that come from? It's not from a place of vanity. I welcome the silver in my beard and only dye it so that it looks fuller in these early months. I cherish the wisdom that comes with these years. And I tell ya: I am absolutely rocking this new pair of suspenders. Haven't worn a pair since Sitka.

I was Homeward Bound down the ever-sidewalk-less Memphis Arlington, past Boys Town as I once walked in 1996 and down Centralia like I did in 1984. I would have walked further than the 8.46 miles I did but I outlasted my Garmin so I called in an evac. I was kicking my prep for it was gonna be a 10-miler. Nevertheless, it just edged out by a tenth of a mile my previously longest walk in The Expeditions. I had more in my tank.

HOWEVER...

...this morning, I woke up at 1:53 AM beating my alarm by a little over a half hour and found that I forgot to plug in my power adapter last night for I had nothing. I created a new worksheet to kick off this week, moving beyond weeks 1-9's DND theme. I didn't want to lift—I didn't even want to stretch! Nevertheless, I did manage to make it outside wearing my 2nd new safety attire.

I was not inspired. For the morning, I only clinked 2¼ miles to the pile. And it now holds the record for the slowest pace in this HFC era. While I thought my body's defenses held, warfare continues as I remain fatigued through the day.

All of this downtime has got me to thinking: what's going on here? Oh, not with the sick stuff. Like, what am I trying to accomplish? I examine my NYR '24...I've absorbed too much of the world. Back on November 16, I mention in a post how I purchased a new Bible and added:

"2024 is going to be something special: a year of vitality and imagination."

The year drew to a close and I spun up some solid New Year's resolutions. But, does it really capture the spirit of what I really seek, really hungry for?

Don't get me wrong: the golden ratio is an excellent target. It'll take the entire year to achieve and there's no guarantee I will. But...to what end? Will it echo in eternity, will it matter experientially when I walk down the streets of the new Jerusalem? And I give up my workday Bible reading plan for...just abs? Is that the best bang for my buck? (Naturally, they're not mutually exclusive.)

Bodybuilding inherently isn't particularly the pursuit of a humble people. And while the carnivore diet is FANTASTIC and enhancing our ability to move is so important, I cannot extend my life by five years...

...I can't even extend it for 5 minutes:

Since his days are determined,
and the number of his months is with you,
and you have appointed his limits that he cannot pass

Job 14:5, ESV

O LORD, make me know my end
and what is the measure of my days;
let me know how fleeting I am!
Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths,
and my lifetime is as nothing before you.
Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath!

Psalm 39:4-5, ESV

There's a wave of peace that cascades across my body when I consider these things. While I do not know the time (and I am blessed not to), my expiration date was stamped before I was born.

And quite honestly, I am looking forward to the renewal. My Dad created all of the good things of this world—the beautiful things, too! What will the place be like that He is preparing for me?

I reckon I've been sick for 11 days now. Consequently, I shelved my strength regimen for this week. My core is in turmoil—not core as in abs and obliques, no, just my qi is off for the lack of a better descriptor.

I continue to be mystified by my heart rate. Yesterday's 3.79 miles at a better than average pace was largely normal and today's 4.58 miles at my WORST recorded overall pace—it was as if someone was dragging on me! I had to consciously keep my shoulders back. For stretches of time, my heart rate hovered around 48-57. For what it's worth, it even dropped to 44 at one point. And yes, this was in the context of sleeping the night before with a mid-70s heart rate.

After my workout, I pulled over that UofM/Chuck Hutton XL t-shirt that I caught at the football game in 2021 and it fit! I then laughed at myself because when I caught it, I thought I should give it away to someone else for it was far too big on me.

I have been running QGIS, an open source GIS platform. I am largely unfamiliar with GIS which is consistent with my failed attempts at applying to GIS jobs for USGS in Flagstaff back in 2004. I am just looking for a meatier version of Google My Maps as Google's apps generally all come off like they were created one weekend in a Mountain Dew Code Red sponsored hackathon with no thought of future maintenance. The uploads are limited to 5 MB, formats are restricted, there are only 10 layers, etc.

Of course, all of this is from that New Year's idea of attempting to walk down every non-cul-de-sac road of MY 1996 Bartlett. And admittedly, I look forward to running again to extend my range since I am limited by time constraints on the weekdays.

Honestly, it just adds a fun twist to my regular cardio—OK cardio streak. It has now been 34 days in a row I've hit my step goal. That sort of thing requires a daily commitment. I've got most of 2023 to show that you don't just...

I ran across this song one pre-dawn morning on Pamela Ann as I walked toward Bartlett High and it has been in my rotation since:

YouTube Link

Yesterday, my body revved up the thermastat wide open as it continues to provide a stalwart defense.

Today before daybreak, I earned a cascade of Garmin badges:

1. 30-Day Goal Getter - Hit your daily steps goal 30 days in a row.
2. 10K a Day Challenge - Get 10,000 steps a day for 30 consecutive days.
3. Hydration Streak - Track at least 64 oz. of water intake daily for 30 consecutive days.
4. 30 for 30 - Record an activity of at least 30 minutes every day for 30 consecutive days.
5. Walk Streak - Walk 1 mile in a single activity every day for 30 consecutive days.
6. Deep Breathing - Record 1 breathwork activity.

I didn't have it in me to press for today's new training regimen. Quitely honestly, it hasn't been completely mapped. I do know I want to do the following three times a week (MWF) at a 5x20 implementation:

• Arnold press
• DB bench press
• DB incline row
• Corkscrews
• Upper circle crunches

Some time ago, I wrote how I thought of how I wanted three roles out of my training, a martial artist, a lean bodybuilder, and a runner. In two of those, I have invested a significant amount of time. On the martial arts side, it largely has been a quick checkbox. I'd like to change that. Also, I want it to involve my DnD dice.

While it is not specifically a part of any of those, I'd like to return to my meditation & breathwork. I did 10 minutes of square breathing this morning though I'm unsure how everything can work together for a seamless morning.

Speaking of this morning, while I did not lift, I did face a 26℉ walk. I only put in 3.9 miles to open up the opportunity for my wife to head up to the gym. The pace wasn't great at 20:57, but it's a couple of minutes faster than yesterday's zombie stroll.